I’m a fairly low-key dude.  But as you can tell from my previous post, I’m pissed.  And I can’t let this go unnoticed any longer:

Colleges and Universities across America, I’m coming after you.  I’m going to expose you for what you really are:

An overpriced monopoly.

Today, I am announcing my new mission in life: to call “bullshit” on the institutions that charge a fortune for their higher education services, yet don’t deliver when it comes to the most important thing: getting students a job.

My first “College Puke” award goes to Monroe College.  Congrats, a$$holes.

Why do I bestow such a bodacious honor on Monroe?  Well, because of their completely misleading, 99.99% false advertising.  First, a little background…

Located in the Bronx, Monroe College has just over 6,500 undergrads.  They admit 61% of the applicants that apply, signaling to me that they are hardly an academic powerhouse.  Although relatively unknown to people outside of NYC, you may have heard about Monroe recently: a 2009 grad made Monroe a household name when she filed a lawsuit against her alma mater, claiming that the school did not “provide her with the leads and career advice it had promised.”

Will she win the $72,000 she is asking for? Of course not.  Why?

1. Well, first – and most important – she can’t afford an attorney.  You aren’t getting far in our legal system if you can’t pay for good counsel.
2. Second is the issue of merit.  It is – and has always been – the responsibility of the student to secure a job, not the university or its career center.  The suit lacks merit on that issue alone.  No school, or company, can guarantee you a job…not even the University of Dreams, where you have to pay to get an unpaid internship [yes, you just read that correctly].

However, just because she will soon lose her lawsuit doesn’t mean Monroe College isn’t guilty of false advertising and of being overall poop-heads.

Did I just compare Monroe College to a baby with a poop-toupe?  Yes, I did.

What’s crazy to me is that even after the school made worldwide headlines for their career placement ineptitude, the school’s career advancement office continues to chirp happily about their “expert advice”,  ”valuable services” and – SHOCKINGLY – “employer recruitment and placement“.  Huh?  What a load of crap.  Or poop-toupe, if you prefer.

Monroe’s slogan is also a pile of poo: “Monroe College. As real as real world education gets.”  They’ve even paid for a nifty image to lure website visitors in…

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Monroe College is full of B.S. advertising, misleading messages, and false claims.  I can only take a guess as to the quality of their “custom-designed academic programs” that “maximize student success”.  Riiiigggghhhhtttt.  I think I’ll take my $100,000 education elsewhere.

Congrats Monroe College.  You have just received TAG’s first College Puke Award.

Grade = F for Fail School.